I was born in Bryant, Texas, but I was raised in Dallas most of my life. I was a victim of molestation, child pornography, and rape. My stepfather sexually and physically abused me. Other family members and friends of the family were also allowed to sexually abuse me. The molestation began at the age of two and increased into more perverted acts, such as oral sex. I was forced to have sex with my stepfather, and He would take pictures of me masturbating, and having sex with little boys and women.

Before I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior My sexual appetite began to mimic that of my stepfather. I did what I had been trained to do as a child. I wanted to have sex two and three times daily. Sex was a thought that consumed my life. I thought about it at work, home, in the car, or wherever I was. I was always seeking sexual arousal. I would look at magazines (mostly with nude women), and read pornographic books or material. I would stay up half the night watching sex or nude scenes in movies. I watched pornographic movies and listened to anyone who was talking about sex. Masturbation was one way for me to receive sexual gratification. It was a daily ritual.

Since I was never healed of my past abuse, it led me to abusing myself. I had a sexual addiction. I never took drugs or even smoked a cigarette in my life. I drank occasionally but I wasn’t an alcoholic. My drug was sex!!!

I gave my life to Christ in June 1997 according to (Romans 10:9). God delivered me from sexual addiction, depression, cursing, lying, cheating, stealing, and everything else that was ungodly (Matthew 11:28-29). I’m no longer bound to those things of my past (Isaiah 61:1). I’m no longer ashamed (I Corinthians 5:17) and don’t blame myself for what happened. I have also realized that God is not to blame either (James 1:13b; St. John 10:10).

True healing and deliverance comes from and begins with Jesus, You must make Him your Lord and Savior. Be willing and ready to let go of past hurts and move on to the future with being healed and an additional bonus of having everlasting life with the Father.

He Made Me Again

I thank God for being God and I thank Him because He took a person like me and made me all over again.

I thank God for delivering me from being raped and from mental abuse. I thank Him for freeing me. I have been set free from mental fornication, masturbation, lusting after females and males. I thank Him for delivering me from low self-esteem, fear, anger, jealousy, hatred, and control. I thank Him for replacing it with love, peace and a sound mind.

When I was 12 years old a family friend raped me. I was made to perform different sexual acts; I was introduced to oral sex and having sex with women. I was told I was a freak, I was told that I was black, ugly and that I will never amount to anything, and no one would ever want me. I started to believe what was said.

I thought no one would ever want me and no one would ever accept me. I felt like I was all-alone in a crowded world. I went into my own little shell. In that shell I found temporary comfort. I stayed to myself; I did not let anyone get close to me. I had no one to talk to. I had all this hurt bottled up inside of me, and it wanted to come out.

I went into a depression at the age of 12. I wore black everyday, and I did not like light. I lost my hair and I cared nothing about myself. I believed my childhood was taken from me. All I ever wanted was to feel love. All I did was escape into a dream world. I had a suicidal mind; I did not want to live. I was convinced I had nothing to live for.

So when the physical abuse had stopped, I started having sex mentally. While the abuse was taking place I found comfort, and pleasure in it, I felt like someone finally wanted me. I started sleeping a lot so I could dream. I found myself going into a daze anytime something happened that I did not like. I was talked about at school; people made fun of me. When I got grown I felt like the only way someone would accept me was to buy friendship. When someone would hurt me I would go to sleep so I could dream and most of the time it was about sex. I held on to what I thought gave someone else pleasure in me. I began to masturbate for comfort and pleasure.

I stayed in a depressed state for 18 years until I was introduced to the Remnant of Grace Ministries. I can now sleep at night, and I have peace. I love myself, and I love the Lord.

I asked Lord to forgive me for all of my sins, my messed up thinking, and I ask Him to save me. He did just that. The Lord has taught me that no matter what I have done or was have happened to me, it was not my fault. I learned to forgive myself.

I had to let go of my past in order for me to go forward. I know now that no one is beyond salvation. He took me and cleaned me up, and let me know that I am someone special. He told me that I was a child of the King and from a Royal Priesthood.

I love the Lord, and I know He loves me. He proves His love everyday. My life is in the hand of the Potter. Though I was marred, He took me and made me again another for His honor.

I thank God for saving me and filling me with his precious Holy Ghost.  Without God, where would I be?  I know God now to be a deliverer, a healer, a redeemer and so much more.

I would admit that I had a fairly good childhood.  I received many of the things I wanted and some things I didn’t want.  Overall, God has protected me throughout my life. 

As a small girl, I was molested over a period of time.  When I came forward with the information, I wasn’t told that I was lying, but rather that I must have been dreaming.  It was dismissed for a time, until the perpetrator tried something with another member of my family, then I was finally believed and the molestation ended. This was just the beginning because the Spirit of Whoredom had attached itself to me, and I found myself wanting sex at an early age. 

That sexual desire led to incest which went on for years until I realized it was wrong.  Still, I had other conquest to make. In my ninth grade year of high school, I found myself pregnant.  I knew all along what I would do because I was too worried about missing my high school basketball games.  I aborted that child with no regrets.  I went on with my basketball career and my sexual exploits.  In eleventh grade, I was pregnant again and I convinced my older boyfriend that this was not the best thing for me so he took me to get an abortion.  I had no conscious, and I never wanted kids.  These things still did not deter me from unprotected sex.  I slept with many men, mostly before I even graduated high school. 

I chose a predominantly Caucasian college because I knew I would never finish college if I had gone to a majority black college.  Well, that didn’t stop me!  I just crossed over to different nationalities.  I had a steady boyfriend but somehow that wasn’t enough.  I was a proud nymphomaniac.  I was having fun doing the things guys were notorious for doing.  I was bound and didn’t know it.  I was like the drug addict or the alcoholic.  I felt that I could quit at any time, whenever I wanted to stop.  It wasn’t until I was married and committing adultery that I realized I had a problem that I couldn’t solve.  My marriage was new and already in trouble.  The spirit of whoredom was still with me and I took it into the marriage.  It would not and could not be satisfied.  To compound the situation, I now wanted to give my husband a child.  We had been married three years without birth control and I could not get pregnant.

Let me tell you how God orchestrates things in my life.  I needed a beautician.  I was going from person to person, but I hadn’t found anyone I liked.  I saw an unsaved old basketball teammate of mine.  She had just gotten her hair styled and I liked it, so I inquired of her beautician.  She said it was someone that graduated from the same high school as we did.  I called the stylist, and she scheduled me on New Year's Eve.  She just so happened to be saved.  I found my beautician.  I was in the process of looking for a church home. It had been a year since I had a church home.  My husband and I weren’t growing at the church we attended.  I had been there since my childhood.  She invited me to her church, but I didn’t like it. Fortunately, she was engaged to a minister from another church.  That’s when they decided to marry at his church.  She invited me. 

God is awesome!  She gave me directions but I was lost.  I was going the wrong way when I saw a childhood friend on the bus stop, and she gave me directions.  I found the church, but  when I arrived they were saying vows.  I sat in the back so I could leave when they were finished, but they started right with church.  I was stuck.  The entire congregation greeted me, and a coworker who went to the church, invited me to sit at the front with her. 

The message the pastor preached was beyond my comprehension. I thought he spoke too fast, and I couldn’t keep up.  During alter call, the preacher said, “I don’t know you, but I need to pray for you.”  I had enough sense to know that you don’t turn down prayer and you obey the preacher.  I was in tears even before he started to pray for me.  God had been tugging at my heart for months and months and I knew it was time to surrender.  I was saved that day, and I’ve been with God and the Rem ever since. My husband joined me about a month later; God blessed us by allowing me to conceive.  I now have two beautiful girls.  The Lord has yet been blessing us, and I love the Lord, because He is good.    

I was a person that was sexually abused at a very young age. I could remember being a baby I would climb out of my crib and crawl into my parent’s bed. What I had blocked out were the memories of my father sexually molesting me. My mother would leave for work in the morning, leaving my sister and me in his care. It was then he would have his way. When I was five years of age, my oldest brother also sexually abused me; also the teenage son of one of my mother’s friend sexually abused me also. I got to a point where I was mimicking the things that were done to me and I started to abuse my little friends.

I became sexually active at the age of 14 and had an abortion at the age of 15. I became pregnant again at the age of 18 with my first daughter. I moved away with my daughter’s father only to experience physical abuse. I left that relationship and got married at 19. Within a year into my marriage I was being unfaithful. I lived an adulterous life for most of my marriage. The sexual addiction did not stop there; I wanted to try other things, so I started to view pornography.

The spirit of whoredom is a spirit that cannot be quenched. The more you feed it the more it wants. I started to experiment with drugs, such as cocaine, marijuana and speed. I was blessed not to have gotten addicted to any drugs. I was addicted to sex.

God delivered me!!

I thank God for bring peace into my life. I didn’t like myself when I was unsaved. I didn’t like who I was or had become. “But thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (I Cor. 15:56). I can now sleep in peace and don’t mind being alone. I was looking for comfort in all the wrong things…in people, dancing, sex and masturbation. I thank the Lord for keeping me through the wickedness.

Through the workings of the Holy Spirit and this ministry I found counseling and deliverance for my soul.