Depression

Sis. Judy Davenport

God delivered me from a $200 to $400 a day crack cocaine and marijuana habit. I went to two drug rehabilitation centers, and attended Narcotics Anonymous faithfully but I Still continued to use drugs very heavily.

Tormented by my past, a victim of abuse (verbally, mentally, sexually and physically), I couldn’t go forward in life because I was still stuck in the past. I developed a cold and stony heart. I was full of hatred, afraid to love, and afraid to accept love. I couldn’t trust anyone.

I was declared suicidal by the age of 19 and I had three attempts on record.

Due to an encounter with a perverted spirit, I developed a perverted mind-a mind of confusion. I hated all men. I didn’t know who I was or what I was. I became involved in relationships with both males and females, for a while I was bisexual.

As time passed a very nice and loving man 15 years my senior came into my life and we married and after 5 years and adopted a little girl.

Everything was supposed to be perfect and beautiful…so I thought.

But the past was not history; it was not all behind me. Everything began to fall apart. I started to verbally, mentally, and physically abuse both my husband and my child. Authorities ordered me not to discipline my child. I slipped into a deep depression. My house even looked like I felt it was dark, cold and lifeless. I spray painted everything BLACK.

I suffered a very severe mental breakdown at the age of 26, my mind gone!!! Where there once had been a brain-like computer, there was nothing. I was institutionalized and placed on drugs such as (Prosaic, Lithium, and Paxenil, which was (an experimental drug) at the time. It was said by doctors that I would have to take the medications for the rest of my life. and attend three therapy sessions a month with the psychiatrist until I died.

GOD HAD ANOTHER PLAN FOR ME!!

I’m no longer a crack/cocaine or a marijuana user, no rehab was able to do what God has done. I have been clean and sober over nine years. No “Narcotics Anonymous.” I am no longer tormented by my past and I am no longer a victim, because of God I am the VICTOR.

Where there was a stony heart of hatred, God put love, joy and peace and I am able to trust now. There are no more thoughts of suicide. I have just begun to live. I no longer have a mind of confusion. I know who I am and what I am and I am all woman- one who can love and be loved.

I am no longer labeled as an abuser. I can discipline my children without going overboard. I have a beautiful marriage with a man I love. I no longer have the Spirit of Depression. God has regulated my mind – I can remember anything.